I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
