the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
