Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
