Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
