I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
