I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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