Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize