Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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