Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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