Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Oh god it's open bar.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
