I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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