Already got asked if we're dating
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
