I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
