I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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