I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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