chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
