I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
