I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
