dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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