Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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