The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
