At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
