i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
