I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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