My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
