Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
