i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Your penis caused this!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
