i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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