Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Everclear isn't food dammit
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
