do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
