Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't deserve a penis
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize