Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
