just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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