come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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