I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
