I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
don't judge my taste in strippers
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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