i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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