you win again, gameday.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
