Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
