im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
