so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
