its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
bring money and cleavage
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
