I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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