I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
