soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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