Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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