Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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