Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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