How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
