there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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