I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize