hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
