no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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