plz talk dirty to me
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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