I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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