i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
