...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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