When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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