just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
